Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Looking Like Dad and Genital Integrity

I look like my dad in a lot of ways. We have a similar build and similar physical features. A lot of people say I look the most like him out of all my siblings. We share DNA so it is to be expected that there would be some similarities. Where I don't look like him is below the waist. You see I'm circumcised and my dad is intact. I don't know when I learned that we were different in that area of our bodies, but I can say that I have never given it more than a moments thought at anytime in my life up to now. That's why when I first discovered that circumcision was such a controversial topic about two years ago, I was surprised to learn that looking like one's father was one of the central arguments people made for wanting to have their sons circumcised. I don't think I have ever heard an argument for circumcision, besides to address a serious medical issue, that is sound enough to make me consider ever circumcising any sons I may have. I certainly wouldn't do it so his penis could look like mine.

I have only seen my father's penis a handful of times in my life. Most of those times was when I was a young child. I come from a family where we weren't permitted to see my parents naked past the age of 4 or 5 so seeing my dad's penis was a rare occurrence. Until I was told that I was circumcised and what it meant the only difference I saw between our respective penises was that his was bigger because he was an adult and I was a child. I am the second boy in my family and I was born in the hospital along with my older brother who is also circumcised. This was long before circumcision became the hot button topic that it has become on social media. I never asked my parents why they had us circumcised, but I'm guessing it was because we were born in the hospital and the hospital personnel asked if my parents wanted it done and like most parents even today they probably didn't give any real thought to the necessity of it or lack thereof. That's probably why parents still do it today. My younger brothers born at home are intact so circumcision was not a mandatory thing for my parents.

I have never known any fathers and sons who sit around comparing the physical appearances of their penises. I know I've never had such a conversation with my dad. I doubt any young boy would place any real significance in the appearance of his penis as compared to his father and I know older boys wouldn't even want to think about it or even care. It's not a conversation you have at the dinner table or anywhere else for that matter. Removing a piece of skin from a boys body so that his penis can look like his father doesn't make much sense to me. Even if I was intact like my father that's probably where the similarities down there would end. We still wouldn't be identical down there because we are two separate people. My older brother is circumcised and there are still differences between us.

Having a boy circumcised to look like his father actually makes sense to some people. I'm not one if those people. Would it make sense if a mother noticed that her newborn daughter's labia or vulva was different from hers so she decided to have some if it altered or removed so that she and her daughter would match? The outcry from such a procedure, especially if it became routine, would be tremendous. I don't know of anyone who would think that would be an acceptable thing to do to a baby girl for the reason given to have it done. If altering a girls vulva to match her mother would be unacceptable and ridiculous to most, why is it okay to do it to a boys penis for that same reason. I think boys who are the biological sons of their fathers look enough like them where it counts without removing a part of their penises. I think it is one of the most invalid, illogical, and ridiculous pro circumcision argument out there and it's one that people need to seriously rethink.

I wouldn't mind looking like my father down there because it would mean that I would still be intact. I'm not and that's okay. I bear no ill will against my parents. They got it right with my younger brothers and that's good enough for me. I can say that if I ever have a son his penis will not look like mine and that's okay because it would mean that what he has is what he was born with and I can happily live with that.